Loss!

Ever lost something?

Not a key ring, or a teddy bear. I mean something really important. Something that is essential, something which if not found will dull your already tarnished shine in the eyes of the owner. I have lost something, something of importance , something that is wanted, something that is needed.

How do I feel about it?

My head is numb, my fingers hurt, my head is pounding. My chest is heavy. Not the heavy that sadness or apprehension brings, but heavy, like a three year old has been sitting on it for an hour or two. I am conscious of my heart as it burns with a dull burning sensation. The Harmattan has not permitted me to sweat profusely. I'm literally sick to my stomach and claustrophobic. My skin has become three sizes smaller, I'm choking.

What will I do?

I have lost something. I shall retrace my steps in the fervent hope that my cloud does have a silver lining, in the hope that the sun will come out tomorrow and the silver lining of my cloud shall, with the aid of the sun, shine a brilliant burning light that shall melt the ice that has engulfed my confidence.

If I don't find it; then what?

I don't know.....your guess is as good as mine.

My Blogging

It cannot be forced because if I try, I will get stuck.

It never will finish, but it can run dry.

It is a passion, but is hardly considered.

It is life, but is not lived.

Its a wife, no longer a girlfriend.

Its an investment, more than something to 'try'.

Its exercise, but I don't move at all.

Its pride shared with complete strangers.

Its young and its old but its always a alive.

Its considered, its plotted, its rendered...its mine.

...?

I sit and I think. I think long and hard about what I should share today but nothing comes to mind. A void, a black hole of emptiness exists in the fertile garden which is my mind, sucking every suggestive thought down the throat of inadequacy. Sucking it down into the reservoir which is my cooking pot of thought.

My ladle of dreams, my dipstick of memories, my whisk of experience continue to stir and churn the froth which forms my being seeking to find satisfaction for my creative tongue, but alas, it tastes not that which wets the pallet of ingenuity.

But I fear not for even though the what I serve today is cold and tasteless there is still food on my expressive table.

New Year? Bah Humbug!

So we enter a new year, expectations abound
The day broke and 'fresh' people peered around

Full of hope and vibrant glee
Smiling faces anxious to see

Indeed they should stare, indeed they should gape
For the new year shall turn a prune into a grape!

It shall turn charcoal to wood and drive crime from your hood!
Even Harry Potter says the new year is good

It shall raise its hands and say aloud
Let world peace in every corner be found!

You stand, however in unfortunate expectation
Suffering from a severe case of new year mental masturbation

Believing to the end that all shall be well
Believing that new year shall cast that 'all shall be well' spell

The very same one that 2010 cast
Oh really? Today, you say thats all in the past

The truth be told, the truth is here
There should be no expectations for the new year

For what was Saturday is now Sunday
You still shall wake up and go to work on a Monday

Your bills will still come and you shall still pay
And you still will be broke a week from payday

Your life last year, that life remains
Life goes; on very little has changed